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Tarot Reflections

  February 15, 2003

Madame Athame is a mysterious will-o-the-wisp who offers tongue-in-cheek readings that are meant to be taken as such. They are by no means a lesson in how to read the tarot for real clients.

Warning: If you are humor-impaired, the Reiki Master General strongly advises you not to read Madame Athame's column.

Q: Dear Madame Athame,

Until now, I'd always dismissed women who had to choose between two guys as indecisive bimbos. Whoops! Instant karma, because I'm now in that very predicament. Biff is a bartender at the Meet Market Saloon. King is chief surgeon at St. Agatha's Hospital. My heart and loins long for both, but, alas, they refuse to share. Which man should I choose?

Sincerly,

Gemma Zain

A: My dear Gemma

You poor thing. Choosing a man is a lot like being on The Price is Right - "Will I win the spa vacation or the year's supply of Rice-a-Roni?"

Ethically I can't choose for you, honey, but I can offer you some pro's and con's for you to think about. Here's a tarot-eye view of your two darlings.

1) The best thing about Biff.

JUDGEMENT. Betcha didn't know that Biff plays a mean flugelhorn and has a progressive jazz group called Plutonian Uprising, didja? Hook up with this guy and you'll become their lead singer. All of you will become happily rich and famous. Yowza!

2) The worst thing about Biff.

THE SUN. The dear boy has a propensity for riding a power mower through his backyard naked in broad daylight.

3) The best thing about King.

DEATH. King has a fabulous insurance policy which you'd be able to cash in on immediately following the honeymoon.

4) The worst thing about King.

STRENGTH. He's lying to you about the head surgeon thing. King is actually veterinarian-in-training at Auntie Leona's Petting Zoo. I hope that helps you, sweetie.

All my best,

Madame Athame

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