Madame Athame is a mysterious
will-o-the-wisp who offers tongue-in-cheek readings that are meant to be
taken as such. They are by no means a lesson in how to read the tarot for
Warning: If you are humor-impaired, the Reiki Master General
strongly advises you not to read Madame Athame's column.
Q: Dear Madame Athame,
work in a cheese factory in
sticking little labels on packages. Day after wretched day, I have to
look at that stupid smiling cow and glue the little sucker on about 2000
times. Can we say, "dead end job"? Please let me know what else is out
there for me professionally. This has GOT to stop.
My dear Hanna,
Madame Athame is deeply moo-ved by your udderly unpleasant circumstances.
We'll do a three-card reading to find out what the three greatest
opportunities will be for you over the next year. And keep your eyes
peeled for these, will ya? I just describe 'em, I don't hand them to you
on a platter.
Opportunity # 1:
TWO OF PENTACLES. Tossing around those lumps of curd will hold you in
good stead as you come into the end of December. Princess Cruise Lines
will offer you a job as a circus juggler on the
Opportunity # 2:
EIGHT OF SWORDS. My dear, you're a natural dominatrix! Why not get paid
for what you enjoy? Start soon and grab the market by the......hand!
Opportunity # 3:
THREE OF SWORDS. This one suggests two possibilities...ah, sweet mystery
of tarot. First, we have butcher - slicing into thick, juicy, ruddy
slabs of meat. The second one is a hotline counselor for teenagers
who've just broken up with their boy/girl-friends. These may not open up
until next April.
Good luck, honey!