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Tarot Reflections

  July 01, 2003

Madame Athame is a mysterious will-o-the-wisp who offers tongue-in-cheek readings that are meant to be taken as such. They are by no means a lesson in how to read the tarot for real clients.

Warning: If you are humor-impaired, the Reiki Master General strongly advises you not to read Madame Athame's column.

Q: Dear Madame Athame,

I work in a cheese factory in Wisconsin, sticking little labels on packages. Day after wretched day, I have to look at that stupid smiling cow and glue the little sucker on about 2000 times. Can we say, "dead end job"? Please let me know what else is out there for me professionally. This has GOT to stop.

Thanks,

Hanna Glockenspiel

A: My dear Hanna,

Madame Athame is deeply moo-ved by your udderly unpleasant circumstances. We'll do a three-card reading to find out what the three greatest opportunities will be for you over the next year. And keep your eyes peeled for these, will ya? I just describe 'em, I don't hand them to you on a platter.

Opportunity # 1:

TWO OF PENTACLES. Tossing around those lumps of curd will hold you in good stead as you come into the end of December. Princess Cruise Lines will offer you a job as a circus juggler on the Lido deck.

Opportunity # 2:

EIGHT OF SWORDS. My dear, you're a natural dominatrix! Why not get paid for what you enjoy? Start soon and grab the market by the......hand!

Opportunity # 3:

THREE OF SWORDS. This one suggests two possibilities...ah, sweet mystery of tarot. First, we have butcher - slicing into thick, juicy, ruddy slabs of meat. The second one is a hotline counselor for teenagers who've just broken up with their boy/girl-friends. These may not open up until next April.

Good luck, honey!

Madame Athame

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