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Tarot Reflections

  April 01, 2003

Madame Athame is a mysterious will-o-the-wisp who offers tongue-in-cheek readings that are meant to be taken as such. They are by no means a lesson in how to read the tarot for real clients.

Warning: If you are humor-impaired, the Reiki Master General strongly advises you not to read Madame Athame's column.

Q: Dear Madame Athame,

I always seem to be in the poor house. My job at Babs' Bathing Suit World pays less than minimum wage, so I try to make ends meet as a cocktail waitress at local dive called the Scallop. Why am I so broke? Is this karma? Is it my fate to be poor? Where's the money? Remove this curse!!! Help!!!

Sincerely and Desperately,

Vesta D'interrest

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A: My Dear Vesta,

Curse?! Oy - curse, schmurse! Those are for amateurs, honey. We create our own "curses", so get that right out of your head. Now, allow me to descend from my oracular soapbox and get down to business with the cards. Here's your reading.

1) What is the true source of Vesta's lack of money?

NINE OF WANDS. Two things come to mind with this card, honey. First of all, that schmuck who took you in with that "please help me, I'm an injured war veteran" routine back in 1994. Secondly, you won't let yourself leave it in the past. The attention and sympathy are pretty yummy, aren't they, darlin'? Get over it already!

2) How can Vesta increase her financial income as quickly as possible?

SIX OF SWORDS. Get your butt out of Anytown, USA and apply for a hostess job on a cruise liner. See the world. Find out there are people 10 times worse off than you are. Start to feel good about yourself in comparison.

3) What does Vesta most need to know about money?

ACE OF PENTACLES. Baby, it does grown on trees! There's wealth all around you - grab it, enjoy it, and let it carry you on its shoulders to a brand-new world. NOW!

Cheers,

Madame Athame

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