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Tarot Reflections

  March 01, 2003

Madame Athame is a mysterious will-o-the-wisp who offers tongue-in-cheek readings that are meant to be taken as such. They are by no means a lesson in how to read the tarot for real clients.

Warning: If you are humor-impaired, the Reiki Master General strongly advises you not to read Madame Athame's column.

I'm a trapeze artist with the Fregamello Sisters' Outdoor Circus. With 12 years of experience under my belt, you'd think I'd be accustomed to my high-risk job by now. Hell, you try wearing a jockstrap and skin-tight bodysuit at 60 feet above ground in the fresh country air!

Anyway, lately our circus fortune-teller, Lady Pendula, has given me ominous warnings of a bad fall that will terminate my trapeze career and leave me with nothing better to do but grow potatoes in Billings, Montana. I'm scared! Have you ever been to Billings, Montana? And besides that, I love my high-flying vocation. Please tell me, is Lady Pendula correct or full of arcane poo-poo?

Sincerely,

Mr. Hugh Jass

A: Dear Mr. Jass,

First of all, let me bestow the "Gee, Who Wasn't Thinking When They Named Their Child Award" upon your parents. There, now that that's off my chest, I can focus the vibes on your question via my trusty RWS deck. Let me say off the bat that it's not up to me to verify or diss a fellow practitioner of the mantic arts. However, let's just see what the cards say, honey.

HIGH PRIESTESS. The silly moo...er...I mean, the lady is just being mysterious and creepy. Likes to wear that "I know something you don't know" kinda expression on her puss, doesn't she?

2) How should Hugh deal with Lady P.? 

MAGICIAN. Give the old doll a dose of her own medicine. Tell her that you've been studying "certain things" and give her the "knowing look" while twisting your fingers into cabalistic gestures (or any finger movements you feel are appropriate). Should scare the liver and lights out of her - HA!

3) What is the reality about Hugh's trapeze career?

FOUR OF WANDS. It continues magnificently, honey! As a matter of fact, in four days you'll be accorded a full ticker-tape parade and the French Legion of Honour for your mid-air wonders.

4) When Hugh gracefully concludes his trapeze work, how will he spend his retirments days? 

FOUR OF SWORDS. Just gettin' some zzz's, darlin', just gettin' some zzz's.

Best of luck,

Madame Athame

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